Why Being Hated Is the Highest Form of Parking Validation
Dearest members,
There has been a marked uptick in public outrage recently. Strong language shouted from across zebra crossings. Passive-aggressive notes folded under wipers. Photos taken by strangers who still believe a £60 fine is a punishment. In short, you’re being noticed — and we couldn’t be more delighted.
Let us begin by making one thing clear. If no one is angry about where you parked, you parked in the wrong place.
Goldline Parking was founded on a simple truth. Hierarchy is visible. And few things demonstrate that truth more effectively than a well-positioned vehicle and an enraged commoner flapping nearby with a clipboard or a pram.
The outrage directed at you is not about the space itself. It is about what your presence in that space represents. Freedom. Wealth. The quiet confidence of someone who hasn’t worried about public approval since the nineties.
When you block a cycle lane, you are not obstructing traffic. You are reminding others that their £700 bicycle does not make them equal. When you rest your Bentley across a pavement, you are not being inconsiderate. You are illustrating that some people do not need to ask.
We recently received an email from a man claiming that one of our members “ruined his day” by parking across two electric charging bays. We were deeply moved. That, dear members, is impact. That is legacy.
You do not need to defend your actions. You are not here to debate with the laminated sign readers. You are here to get out of the car, proceed to your engagement, and return when convenient. The rest is noise.
Should you receive a note, do not read it. Have it disposed of by someone who doesn’t drive. If you are filmed, straighten your coat, maintain posture, and allow them to record their own inferiority in 4K.
If someone insists on confronting you, simply ask this:
“Do you own this space?”
They never do. That’s why they’re angry. You do. That’s why you’re not.
We do not park to make friends. We park to proceed with our lives.
You are not rude. You are not breaking rules. You are simply reminding the public that some people were born into tarmac priority.
Remain parked.
Remain calm.
Remain unapologetic.
Yours in justified superiority,
Peregrine L. Wroughton-Daventry, Esq.
Executive Chairman
Goldline Parking Ltd